Altruism

I have been thinking about this word lately, especially during this largest and longest Ebola outbreak in history. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines altruism as feelings and behavior that show a desire to help other people and a lack of selfishness.

The first time I heard the word mentioned was from the urologist who performed my kidney surgery to transplant my kidney to my sister who suffered from chronic renal failure as a result of her systemic lupus twenty years ago.  When I made the decision to do so, it did not occur to me that it was an act of altruism.  To me it was very simply out of my love for my sister.  I wanted her to be able to be free from peritoneal dialysis and hemodialysis, being tied to a procedure which did not allow her to do the things that she loved. 

It was also my way of paying back as many years ago when I was accepted to Wellesley College on a full scholarship, my sister and her husband bought a one-way ticket for me to fly from Malaysia to United States so I could attend college.  It was a great financial expense for them.  Hence I did not see my decision to donate one of my kidneys to her as an act of selflessness.  My three children were young then.  They were in the hospital when my sister and I had our surgeries, she in the next room being prepared to receive my kidney.  They had a real fear of the possibility of losing their mother. I did not think of it at the time but now thinking back my decision to do so must have made an impression on their young minds that when one of their siblings or friends is in need, no matter what it is, they should step up to the plate. 

So in donating my kidney, I might inadvertently be performing a selfish act.  When my sister and her husband helped me to fly to the States, there was no way that I could have repaid them in monetary terms for they did that out of love for me and out of the desire to help me to pursue my dreams.  My children benefited from this act by learning to treasure family tie and sibling relationship in ways that I could not have done otherwise. I delved in the pleasure of dreaming of she and her husband gallivanting about Europe once she was no longer tied to a machine.  All these rewards after an act of so-called altruism made it difficult for me to see that it was a true act of altruism and not an act of selfish pleasure.

In years past, volunteering in medical relief as a doctor in various parts of the world in natural disasters, conflict, and war, helping people to feel a little better, the refugees in the camps to regain some degree of human dignity and in the process saving some lives, actually give me a great deal of purpose in life and deep happiness.  Indeed losing oneself in the immersion of helping others is exhilarating, addicting, and intoxicating.   Studies have shown that those who help others have a healthier life and live longer.  So I may be the beneficiary of these benefits. When helping others or performing acts of altruism, the pleasure center in the brain lights up in the same area as when we are loved, when we flirt, have sex, or enjoy life’s simple pleasures.  If altruism gives us such pleasures, is it then an act that lacks selfishness? 

In my cumulative three months of volunteering as a doctor in the Ebola Treatment Units in Liberia and Sierra Leone in the Ebola outbreak in West Africa, I was emotionally overwhelmed by the intense pain and suffering of the people and felt powerless against the unrelenting waves of deaths caused by the virus.  Even in this situation of “altruism” as a volunteer in the Ebola outbreak, my rewards were immeasurable.  My volunteering gave me a strong sense of purpose in life, and a wholesome dose of incalculable fulfillment and untold satisfaction that in some subliminal infinitesimal way I played a part in something greater than myself.  I bore witness to the greater triumph of our noble, kind, compassionate, caring part of humanity which again showed its capacity to rise to the challenge of this deadly virus by the willingness of our fellow humans to even give their lives to save another.  As a participant in this outbreak I bore witness to the resilience and courage displayed by both the sufferers and the helpers, and the brave and selfless acts of numerous nationals and volunteers who displayed altruism in the true sense of the word:  “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends”. 

In less than two days I will be heading to Nepal to offer medical assistance to the quake victims. I am sure my reward will be far greater than what I could give. 
If there is internet, I will try to blog nepalkwankewlai@blogspot.com